Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Last Day for a First Time

So it's the last day for a "sexography" post. I will admit I've had a lot of fun writing these just because it gave me permission to talk about a topic I generally avoid on this blog. To remind you all why I decided to take part, scroll a little to read below about RAINN and consider making a donation.

Now. My final sexography post.

The first time I had sex with a guy wasn't anything to brag about. Then again, I don't know too many people who had mind-blowing, virginity-erasing experiences. Feel free to leave a delicately-worded comment if you were one of the lucky ones. Anyway.

Earlier that night, I had presented my boyfriend with a note saying I was ready.

"A note? WTF? Were you 16???" you might ask incredulously. Uh. Yeah. I was.

After my boyfriend read the note, we went into the movie theatre to see "Jack The Bear." It was one of those uncomfortable movie dramas with Danny DeVito. Honestly, is any movie that he's in really comfortable?

Afterwards, we drove off in the April mist until my boyfriend parked his boat of a car in a dark parking lot of an apartment complex. We began our heavy make-out ritual that eventually led to me laying unclothed on the front seat with a steering wheel inches from my head. As I noticed a fuzzy glow around a street light, my boyfriend pushed through what was left of my virginity. I moved against him until I came to my senses and asked, "Do you have a condom?" His head dipped as he said no, pulling out.

I wouldn't say the second, third, or even tenth time were much better for me, but the boyfriend seemed to enjoy it. A couple years later, I found out a guy I trained to be a radio DJ, who also because a barista at the coffee shop this blog is named after, lived in that apartment complex. Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever stole a glance outside their window and saw us that night.

Please consider donating to RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network as part of the Sexography project. If you donate, please cut and paste this blog’s URL along with "GBBMC:08" into the “donation in honor of” section. By including this blog’s URL in your “in honor of,” RAINN will know its part of the Sexography Project. If you use PayPal, please let me know your donation amount and transaction number for the PayPal donation. I do not get credit for your donation due to a glitch in RAINN's donation site at this time. Thanks!

About RAINN:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline with a nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines, providing victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 137,039 sexual assault victims in 2005 and has helped more than one million since it began in 1994. RAINN’s goal is to expand its hotline services with the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, which will be the nation's first secure web-based hotline that provides live, secure and completely confidential help to victims 24/7 through an interface as intuitive as instant messaging. RAINN educates more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth Magazine.

About Sexography:
By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Carly Milne paints a brutally honest - and, at times, amusing - picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta to present day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the sometimes troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candidness and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Number

Five.

Four and One.

Make what you will of that.

(winks)

Please consider donating to RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network as part of the Sexography project. If you donate, please cut and paste this blog’s URL along with "GBBMC:08" into the “donation in honor of” section. By including this blog’s URL in your “in honor of,” RAINN will know its part of the Sexography Project. If you use PayPal, please let me know your donation amount and transaction number for the PayPal donation. I do not get credit for your donation due to a glitch in RAINN's donation site at this time. Thanks!

About RAINN:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline with a nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines, providing victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 137,039 sexual assault victims in 2005 and has helped more than one million since it began in 1994. RAINN’s goal is to expand its hotline services with the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, which will be the nation's first secure web-based hotline that provides live, secure and completely confidential help to victims 24/7 through an interface as intuitive as instant messaging. RAINN educates more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth Magazine.

About Sexography:
By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Carly Milne paints a brutally honest - and, at times, amusing - picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta to present day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the sometimes troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candidness and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Clean Bill

On Friday I finally had the physical I was supposed to have in February. I'm happy to say my doctor is pleased with my health and habits.

I consider myself lucky because my doctor is pretty cool. She's probably the first doctor I've had that I feel really comfortable with in terms of divulging personal details. It helps that she isn't judging either. I don't get the whole, "Well, you're at that age where if you want kids....(grand pause)" from her. She also doesn't push medications like The Pill on me even though I probably could get a lot of benefit out of going back on that like less acne issues, shorter periods, and thus more sex.

I was on The Pill once. Once being taking it for over 5 years. I don't quite remember when I stopped, but I do remember that there was a time my prescription ended and I was off The Pill for a month or two. I went through some horrible mood swings. After a doctor's visit, I went on a low-hormone version but the mood swings were just as bad, and I got headaches and cramps. At that point, I said, "Fuck it." I'm not totally cool with adding more hormones to my body when you consider the wealth that take up residence there currently.

Unfortunately, unless I get my tubes tied or Matt gets a vasectomy, we're kinda stuck when it comes to birth control options. Even though we do not plan to have children, ever, I don't want to permanently cut off my ovaries from the rest of my lady bits. Part of me fears that if I mess with my insides any more than necessary that shit will go down 20 years from now and I'll be laying on my back in some doctor's office cursing the day I decided to tie my tubes so I could have sex without a condom. I know that's a little ridiculous, but it's my prerogative if I want to needlessly worry, right?
Please consider donating to RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network as part of the Sexography project. If you donate, please cut and paste this blog’s URL along with "GBBMC:08" into the “donation in honor of” section. By including this blog’s URL in your “in honor of,” RAINN will know its part of the Sexography Project. If you use PayPal, please let me know your donation amount and transaction number for the PayPal donation. I do not get credit for your donation due to a glitch in RAINN's donation site at this time. Thanks!

About RAINN:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline with a nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines, providing victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 137,039 sexual assault victims in 2005 and has helped more than one million since it began in 1994. RAINN’s goal is to expand its hotline services with the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, which will be the nation's first secure web-based hotline that provides live, secure and completely confidential help to victims 24/7 through an interface as intuitive as instant messaging. RAINN educates more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth Magazine.

About Sexography:
By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Carly Milne paints a brutally honest - and, at times, amusing - picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta to present day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the sometimes troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candidness and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.

Dr. Jamison Will Be In Rochester!

OMG! Dr. Jamison AKA Bill Pullman will be in Rochester for Rochester's Movie Fest this week.

From Singles:

Janet: "Your face wants a different part." (musses up Dr. Jamison's hair) "You're Dr. Jamison. You're a happenin' guy!"
Dr. Jamison: "Yeah, yeah. But I don't know how have fun."
Janet: (smooches Dr. Jamison) "There. That was fun, wasn't it?"

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Oakley Hall at Mojos with all the people that would normally be at forte if forte was open this week.

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Friday, April 25, 2008

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

How 'bout another first kiss?

I am a hopeless romantic. Nothing turns me into a pile of mush quicker than stories or movie scenes with that "first kiss."

Most of my tween and early teens were dreaming about that first kiss. I would be lost in my own little world, thinking about how the object of my affection would suddenly pull me to him and give me the sweetest, softest kiss.

The drawback to fantasy worlds is that the real world often doesn't match up. However, I was bound and determined to make that first kiss count. That's why my first boyfriend in seventh grade never got to kiss me.

Oh, he tried. Poor Luis. The first time he tried was as we were about to get off the bus after a ski club trip. I could see my dad standing outside the bus, and as I sensed Luis leaning toward me I quickly said, "My dad is waiting for me" and bolted down the aisle. In school, a few days later Luis tried again as we stood by our lockers and this time I backed away, citing a school handbook rule, "We can't do that here! Principal Springpeace is right there!" I simply didn't want an audience of my peers to this momentous occasion. Luis left a break-up note in my locker some days later after he got wind of the fact that I was thinking of breaking up with him. Years later, when we were both in college and out of the early, dorky teen years, we had an opportunity to hook-up while hanging out at a mutual friend's house. Luis was drunkenly swinging me around the bedroom of our friend in an odd dance while we watched "Clockwork Orange." I was casually dating someone for the summer, which is the only explanation I have for not taking advantage of a situation where I was being wooed by a super-hot, well-toned Dutch-Hispanic man-boy. A friend watching the movie with us later told me that Luis had, in a drunken slobbering way, tried to kiss me again. I guess it was the kiss that was never meant to be.

The next guy I dated, Don, lived in Buffalo and was at too safe a distance to even consider kissing. The only collision we ever had was when I managed to fall and crash into him as he waited at the bottom of a hill for me when we went skiing together once. I didn't see him again after that.

Dave and I were two friends that could have lettered in flirting with each other, but when we dated things went south and we never did anything beyond holding hands during passing time at school.

And then there was Vince. Vince was that older guy. I met him just before my sophomore year in high school at a high school graduation party. We hit it off right away because I didn't mind listening to him talk and tell me all about his knee injury, the people we knew in common, and other random details. We started talking on the phone at first, but then he took me out for lunch, and then again a week later to see Faith No More, Metallica, and Guns'N Roses at Rich Stadium with a couple of his friends. I went away to a string camp at SUNY Fredonia for a week, but when I got back Vince took me to the State Fair with some co-workers. We got back home late. The sun had gone down and the neighborhood was quiet as he walked me to the door. I turned to give him a hug when, instead, he leaned in kissed me. I kissed him back, hugged him and said goodnight. Maybe not quite storybook ending, but good enough. Good enough to remember the date: August 3, 1992.

Please consider donating to RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network as part of the Sexography project. If you donate, please cut and paste this blog’s URL along with "GBBMC:08" into the “donation in honor of” section. By including this blog’s URL in your “in honor of,” RAINN will know its part of the Sexography Project. If you use PayPal, please let me know your donation amount and transaction number for the PayPal donation. I do not get credit for your donation due to a glitch in RAINN's donation site at this time. Thanks!

About RAINN:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline with a nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines, providing victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 137,039 sexual assault victims in 2005 and has helped more than one million since it began in 1994. RAINN’s goal is to expand its hotline services with the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, which will be the nation's first secure web-based hotline that provides live, secure and completely confidential help to victims 24/7 through an interface as intuitive as instant messaging. RAINN educates more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth Magazine.

About Sexography:
By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Carly Milne paints a brutally honest - and, at times, amusing - picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta to present day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the sometimes troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candidness and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Walk along lake ontario with my mom and Matt.

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Saturday, April 19, 2008

About to hit a winery, a brewery, and lunch with my family.

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Friday, April 18, 2008

The Varnish Cooks at the little cafe in rochester. Hanging with Heidi, Matt, and Ryan.

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For Those Who Were Stuck Indoors Today

I saw this as part of my YouTube Addict's subscription today. It's hard to be stuck inside on a beautiful day, but at least we'll be road-tripping it in mere hours:

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Raise the Barricades!

I entered adolescence at the height of the hysteria about AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. People were truly freaked about the AIDS epidemic just because so many people were still misinformed about how it was contracted. On the upside, this was before the bullshit-head-in-the-sand approach to sex education known as "abstinence only" became a regular part of health ed in our school systems.

Health Ed was a decent class my sophomore year. Our teacher was down to earth in that crunchy lesbian way. She had no qualms about bringing in guest speakers that made us uncomfortable, including a date rape survivor. One speaker that still sticks in my mind was a young black man who came in to discuss the different types of birth control and disease-preventative options when it came to sex.

He had a familiar variety of prophylactics including the female condom, diaphragm, spermicide, and the Pill. But then he pulled out a square of latex and started stretching it while asking us if we knew what it was.

"Some of you might recognize this because your dentist may use one when you go in for a check-up. Any ideas? No?" he queried as the latex shrunk and expanded between his hands. "It's a dental dam."

A confused silence fell over the room.

"You use it to cover the vagina when performing oral sex."

The silence gave way to giggles and a low buzz. I stared at the dental dam and could only think of was how it reminded me of the plastic on the back of a piece of Fruit Roll-Up.

The good thing about that class was that the information was still useful a couple years later. That's all you can ask for, right?
Please consider donating to RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network as part of the Sexography project. If you donate, please cut and paste this blog’s URL along with "GBBMC:08" into the “donation in honor of” section. By including this blog’s URL in your “in honor of,” RAINN will know its part of the Sexography Project.

About RAINN:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline with a nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines, providing victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 137,039 sexual assault victims in 2005 and has helped more than one million since it began in 1994. RAINN’s goal is to expand its hotline services with the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, which will be the nation's first secure web-based hotline that provides live, secure and completely confidential help to victims 24/7 through an interface as intuitive as instant messaging. RAINN educates more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth Magazine.

About Sexography:
By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Carly Milne paints a brutally honest - and, at times, amusing - picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta to present day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the sometimes troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candidness and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.

I Love The Whole World



(HT kottke.org)

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

House of (Beer) Cards

Building a house of beer coasters over Jeff's beer.

Your Parents Do It

I don't think many people like to think about the fact that their parents, at some point, had sex. Sure, some couples adopt but in that case procreation most likely took place for that baby to be possible. The miracles of modern medicine have made it possible for couples to conceive without intercourse, but chances are if they've gone the test-tube baby path, they've already tried multiple times to conceive naturally.

I'm getting off-track.

I've blogged this week about friends who don't like to talk about sex, but what do you do if you belong to a family where the women like to talk about sex? The idea of many years in therapy immediately jumps to mind, but that would be a hyperbolization of reality.

When I was 15 years old, I took a trip to NYC with my mom, my aunt, and two family friends. As I finished getting ready in our hotel room before we went out to catch a musical (Jelly's Last Jam), I could overhear the ladies talking in the other room. To my shock and dismay, the topic was sex, how much, positions, and other things you generally don't want to hear your close relatives talking about.

Over a decade later, before I was married, my mom, grandmother, and aunt decided to share with me that all women from that side of the family had quite healthy sexual appetites. I can't say anymore than that, because you, the reader, don't need details. I also decided that I must be more closely related to my dad's side of the family at that point.

I won't even get into the discussion that I heard some family members have about KY.

Please consider donating to RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network as part of the Sexography project. If you donate, please cut and paste this blog’s URL along with "GBBMC:08" into the “donation in honor of” section. By including this blog’s URL in your “in honor of,” RAINN will know its part of the Sexography Project.

About RAINN:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline with a nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines, providing victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 137,039 sexual assault victims in 2005 and has helped more than one million since it began in 1994. RAINN’s goal is to expand its hotline services with the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, which will be the nation's first secure web-based hotline that provides live, secure and completely confidential help to victims 24/7 through an interface as intuitive as instant messaging. RAINN educates more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth Magazine.

About Sexography:
By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Carly Milne paints a brutally honest - and, at times, amusing - picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta to present day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the sometimes troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candidness and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I hear they have Starbucks in hell

Am I ruining my news cred' and possibly buying myself a direct ticket to hell if I look through my news scripts for tomorrow, see a story about the Pope being in the United States and have the following conversation with myself?:
"Hmm.. Pope lands in U.S. today. Is deeply ashamed about all the pedo-priests. Will be visiting NYC. Visiting Chautauqua County? Negative? Ok. Fuck the Pope story then."
Yeah. I thought so. I better pack my bags.

Back Alley

One of the cool things about the central business district of Jamestown is all the alley-ways. I like the fact they are usable, in terms of driving. There are still a number of one-way streets downtown, so it's nice to be able to use an alley to cut over to the street you need without having to go all the way around the block.

I also like the aesthetics of the alleys. The way they slope upwards as you make your way from the south end of downtown to the north side. How they're still brick-lined, even if the main streets have been paved with asphalt. There was talk by some that the alleys should have lighting installed to encourage pedestrian use. I kind of dig that idea. Just as long as they don't seal them off to cars. If they did, I'd hope that some of those one-way streets had been made 2-way. That just might happen.

Pretty Sidetracked

This is for anyone whose mind has ever wandered for even the briefest of moments while having sex.



Please consider donating to RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network as part of the Sexography project. If you donate, please cut and paste this blog’s URL along with "GBBMC:08" into the “donation in honor of” section. By including this blog’s URL in your “in honor of,” RAINN will know its part of the Sexography Project.

About RAINN:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline with a nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines, providing victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 137,039 sexual assault victims in 2005 and has helped more than one million since it began in 1994. RAINN’s goal is to expand its hotline services with the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, which will be the nation's first secure web-based hotline that provides live, secure and completely confidential help to victims 24/7 through an interface as intuitive as instant messaging. RAINN educates more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth Magazine.

About Sexography:
By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Carly Milne paints a brutally honest - and, at times, amusing - picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta to present day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the sometimes troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candidness and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.

Monday, April 14, 2008

What About Your Friends?

Sex is that unspoken topic between our friends. There are plenty of winks, nudges, and smiles; but to announce that you engage in the act is practically taboo. If I was naive, I'd think more than half of my friends were virgins or practicing abstinence from how much they don't talk about sex.

I'm not saying I want to sit down and get the blow by blow of our friend's bedroom habits, but it would also be nice not to get the shocked gasp if I happen to mention a pleased moment from earlier in the day. I should also advise that I'm not going around telling everyone about the latest and greatest orgasm!

I've sometimes wonder if it's competitiveness that keeps most of my friends silent. We flirt. We hug. We kiss each other on the cheek. But what would happen if one couple revealed that they found themselves in the throes of passion nightly? Think of the pressure that puts on the others! And then there's the married couples. Is it out of politeness or assumptions that lustful actions are not dwelt upon? Either way, discreteness reigns.

Please consider donating to RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network as part of the Sexography project. If you donate, please cut and paste this blog’s URL along with "GBBMC:08" into the “donation in honor of” section. By including this blog’s URL in your “in honor of,” RAINN will know its part of the Sexography Project.

About RAINN:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline with a nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines, providing victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 137,039 sexual assault victims in 2005 and has helped more than one million since it began in 1994. RAINN’s goal is to expand its hotline services with the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, which will be the nation's first secure web-based hotline that provides live, secure and completely confidential help to victims 24/7 through an interface as intuitive as instant messaging. RAINN educates more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth Magazine.

About Sexography:
By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Carly Milne paints a brutally honest - and, at times, amusing - picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta to present day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the sometimes troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candidness and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Is There A Fly In The Honey?

It's so crowded in here tonight. But that's okay. The window seat is fine. Yeah. No, it reminds me of home. Don't know why. Yeah.

So how are you? Yeah? Yeah, I can't believe that class either. The prof is just so, so. Right! But I couldn't agree more, History of American Pop does rule. I've already gotten so much out of it. Yeah.

So you said your winter break was good? Right. Uh huh. Me? Well. Well. I don't want you to worry. Because it could be nothing. I just felt you should know. Well. I'm, uh, late. Like two months. Hey. Hey. Listen. If it does turn out I'm, y'know, I don't plan to keep it. I mean. I have some money. So, don't worry. I just felt you should know. Yeah.

Well, I've got an appointment with the health center on Monday. No, I haven't taken one yet. I know they're not always reliable. So I figured I'd just go in and find out for sure. Right. So. Right. That's really all. Yeah.

No, I'm all set. Yeah. Where you headed? Cool. Um. Well, tell her I said hi. Yeah. See ya.

Please consider donating to RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network as part of the Sexography project. If you donate, please cut and paste this blog’s URL along with "GBBMC:08" into the “donation in honor of” section. By including this blog’s URL in your “in honor of,” RAINN will know its part of the Sexography Project.

About RAINN:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline with a nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines, providing victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 137,039 sexual assault victims in 2005 and has helped more than one million since it began in 1994. RAINN’s goal is to expand its hotline services with the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, which will be the nation's first secure web-based hotline that provides live, secure and completely confidential help to victims 24/7 through an interface as intuitive as instant messaging. RAINN educates more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth Magazine.

About Sexography:
By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Carly Milne paints a brutally honest - and, at times, amusing - picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta to present day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the sometimes troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candidness and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Is It Hot In Here?

I read something today that, well... whew! (fans self) It makes me, uh, feel things.

The article

Bespecled Beauty

I love glasses. Some would say it's almost a fetish. I've had friends whom I met when they did not have glasses on. Then days or weeks later, they would show up somewhere with a set of rims around their eyes. I would find myself doing a classic double-take and once over.

"New glasses?" I'd ask with a slight raise of an eyebrow.

Matt found out the power of specs on me when he decided to ditch his contacts and spring for some new frames. Without giving away too many saucy details, let's just go with the fact that I married him (some years later).

I suppose it's telling that at least 8 people that I dated before marriage wore glasses, or needed vision-correcting devices. Some I practically begged to not take off their glasses when we'd go out.

"Don't they help you see? They look awful nice on you!" I'd plead.

I guess I never quite understood why TV and movie makers thought that removing glasses from a character was supposed to make them hot all of a sudden. Not that I think coke-bottle frames are hot. Please. I have standards.

Part of me thinks Freud would have a field day with this slight-fetish of mine. Most people in my family wear glasses. I'm one of the odd ones out with 20/20 vision. When I was a teenager, I thought about buying a pair of prescription-less frames to wear about. Those whose eyesight is less than perfect have told me I'm just crazy.
Please consider donating to RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network as part of the Sexography project. If you donate, please cut and paste this blog’s URL along with "GBBMC:08" into the “donation in honor of” section. By including this blog’s URL in your “in honor of,” RAINN will know its part of the Sexography Project.

About RAINN:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline with a nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines, providing victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 137,039 sexual assault victims in 2005 and has helped more than one million since it began in 1994. RAINN’s goal is to expand its hotline services with the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, which will be the nation's first secure web-based hotline that provides live, secure and completely confidential help to victims 24/7 through an interface as intuitive as instant messaging. RAINN educates more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth Magazine.

About Sexography:
By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Carly Milne paints a brutally honest - and, at times, amusing - picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta to present day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the sometimes troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candidness and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Picture Pages

One afternoon when I was in second grade, I went over to my friend's house to play after school. As I went inside, Jodi said, "Hey, I got something to show you in my room."

We ran upstairs into her immaculate room. Jodi's mom cleaned houses when she wasn't teaching aerobic classes, so their own house always had a sense of comfortable perfection. Donny, her younger brother, joined us as Jodi knelt by her bed and reached under the dust ruffle.

"We found this in my dad's dresser drawer," as she showed me a Playboy magazine.

"He doesn't know you took it does he?" I asked anxiously.

"No. We gotta put it back soon though," Jodi answered.

We started quietly turning the pages, giggling when we saw a picture of a woman that was posed funny.

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed. "That's not a.. you know... in her mouth," my voice dropped to a whisper as we stared a picture of a woman with what I now know to be a dildo protruding from her lips.

Jodi and Donny stared for a moment before Jodi said brusquely, "No. That's not real."

We considered this for a moment before Jodi shoved the magazine back under her bed and we left the room to play a game somewhere away from the lusty images.

Please consider donating to RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network as part of the Sexography project. If you donate, please cut and paste this blog’s URL along with "GBBMC:08" into the “donation in honor of” section. By including this blog’s URL in your “in honor of,” RAINN will know its part of the Sexography Project.

About RAINN:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline with a nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines, providing victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 137,039 sexual assault victims in 2005 and has helped more than one million since it began in 1994. RAINN’s goal is to expand its hotline services with the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, which will be the nation's first secure web-based hotline that provides live, secure and completely confidential help to victims 24/7 through an interface as intuitive as instant messaging. RAINN educates more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth Magazine.

About Sexography:
By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Carly Milne paints a brutally honest - and, at times, amusing - picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta to present day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the sometimes troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candidness and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.

"Let it go on and on.."

If I could magically show up beside you while you read/watch this, I would drag you out of your chair or off the couch and make you dance with me to this song. It's the horns. And when the song hits the 2-minute mark and those hand claps come in followed by the next horn entrance, OH MY GOD! God Bless Spoon for putting out an official video for "You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb."

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

"It's the freshest move I've ever seen!"

God Bless Jason Kottke for sharing this. Plus, it involves Utah Saints' "Something Good." God, the memories of Junior High dances are now haunting me.

Playing the Part of a Skirt

Proof I wore a skirt today.

Read As Much As You Can

My apologies to Emma, but I have to steal a blog topic and give it my own spin.

As an only child, I grew up with books as some of my closest friends. My mom is a voracious reader, and encouraged me to be as well as soon as I could figure out what those printed letters stood for on paper.

Trips to the mall always included a stop by any store that sold books. Garage sales were even better because we could leave with bagfuls of old Nancy Drew or Trixie Belden mysteries.

Around the time I was in third grade, my mom bought a book while we were doing some shopping at Midtown Mall. I didn't take much notice of it until we got in the car. After I buckled up, she handed me a bag saying, "This is for you." I pulled the book out and studied the cover with curiosity. It featured an illustrated baby hanging out of the "O" at the bottom of the title, which said, Where Did I Come From? - The Facts of Life Without Any Nonsense and With Illustrations.

I tried not to gape at the pictures of the naked man and woman, including the scene where they were shown making love. Yes, the book used this phrase. I poured over every page. "So THAT'S how it happens!" I thought to myself. A couple years later, we all got the less exciting explanation about reproduction in six grade science class.

I was glad my parents gave me that book. I think we've used books a lot to handle uncomfortable topics between the three of us. Sometimes it works. In this case, it was successful and I still have the book. A friend of mine used it in a skit for a drama class in high school. Something sticks in my mind that she got in trouble for it. Maybe she'll leave something in comments for all of us.

As a post-script, I should note that the illustrious author of that book, Peter Mayle, also wrote a series on life in Provence that I discovered a few years ago and thoroughly enjoyed. Just funny.
Please consider donating to RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network as part of the Sexography project. If you donate, please cut and paste this blog’s URL along with "GBBMC:08" into the “donation in honor of” section. By including this blog’s URL in your “in honor of,” RAINN will know its part of the Sexography Project.

About RAINN:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline with a nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines, providing victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 137,039 sexual assault victims in 2005 and has helped more than one million since it began in 1994. RAINN’s goal is to expand its hotline services with the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, which will be the nation's first secure web-based hotline that provides live, secure and completely confidential help to victims 24/7 through an interface as intuitive as instant messaging. RAINN educates more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth Magazine.

About Sexography:
By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Carly Milne paints a brutally honest - and, at times, amusing - picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta to present day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the sometimes troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candidness and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.

Getting Personal

Emma of Eriepressible has taken on a month-long challenge known as Sexography. It's a different way to raise awareness about rape, abuse, and incest through the vehicle of women's stories about their personal experiences with sex.

While I don't get too squeamish when it comes to the topic of sex, I wondered just how Emma was going to handle this somewhat delicate topic. The posts she's put up so far have a good balance of humor and seriousness. I admire her tact. I debated for a few days taking on this challenge. It's so personal and I wanted to approach this in a way that doesn't freak out my friends and random readers. Here's a toast to a few weeks of sex posts. I'll be as chaste as I deem necessary.

Please consider donating to RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network as part of the Sexography project. If you donate, please cut and paste this blog’s URL along with "GBBMC:08" into the “donation in honor of” section. By including this blog’s URL in your “in honor of,” RAINN will know its part of the Sexography Project.

About RAINN:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline with a nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines, providing victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 137,039 sexual assault victims in 2005 and has helped more than one million since it began in 1994. RAINN’s goal is to expand its hotline services with the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, which will be the nation's first secure web-based hotline that provides live, secure and completely confidential help to victims 24/7 through an interface as intuitive as instant messaging. RAINN educates more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth Magazine.

About Sexography:
By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Carly Milne paints a brutally honest - and, at times, amusing - picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta to present day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the sometimes troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candidness and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Spring Clean-Up

I know that dirty little four-letter word could crop up before the end of the month, but right now I'm soaking up this awesome Spring weather as much as I can. My way of soaking it up is by drawing energy off of it to get organized and clean house. Naturally, I like to use technology where possible.

  • Google Calendar has a feature that allows me to sync with my work calendar. This means no more forgetting about business meetings and showing up to work in a more-casual-than-I'd-like outfit.
  • Matt and I did the post-snow yard clean-up and have found a system to keep up with it on a daily basis
  • We also changed our banking system around to match up with how we want to handle our finances. We needed a better system to save money and pay bills, so in another few weeks we'll have a good idea about how this is working. I should post the full story there when it's all set.
  • The warm weather has helped indoors as well as I tackled the kitchen Saturday as part of my "super clean one room every week" strategy. I've also made a habit of making sure stuff is picked up regularly around the house so I don't feel overwhelmed. This has included setting out laundry baskets for each type of laundry (delicates, whites, darks, towels, etc.) so I can see when a load needs to be tossed in.
  • I'm doing better with managing mail, but need to get back into my office to finish filing. That includes creating new files for our new banking stuff. I'm not a fan of filing.
  • Of course, the green grass outside is prompting us to think more greenly too. After years of being a major slacker and bad environmentalist, I set up containers for our recyclables in our entry way. It's not pretty, but at least more than just newspapers will be recycled now. When you consider how many plastic water bottles we go through a week because of Matt's chlorinated water issue, that's a big deal.
  • On top of this, our lap-top's power supply has kicked the bucket so I haven't been tethered to this wonderful time-sucker as much as I was for the past year. I can't say I miss it except when it comes time to do news scripts and I have to bug Matt to quit playing his game so I can use the computer.
That's the start of it! I'd like to thank my binge viewing of How Clean Is Your House? that I record every day for getting me in the habit of keeping clean. Matt laughed at me when I stood in the kitchen Saturday and play-acted, "Oh Aggie! It's really lovely in here now, isn't it? Take a whiff! Marvelous!"

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Good Sports

I want to thank all you readers who allowed me to giggle most of Tuesday, otherwise known as April Fool's Day.

I also want to offer an apology with a smile attached to the friends who went into "crisis management mode" (Tim), were "trying to think of a polite way to say you were in over your head" (Heidi), or were left uncomfortably smiling and saying, "Oh that sounds interesting...." (most of the people I work with). You're all good sports and it was great to read and see your reactions all day.

Big Announcement!

For the past few years, Matt and I have brainstormed several ideas for what we want to do in this area. We both have typical jobs, but from time to time we've batted around the idea of going into business for ourselves. This has included everything from opening a coffee shop, to buying and running a specialty beer store, to doing something online.

Well, after lots of yellow legal pads, some meetings with the local Small Business Development Center, hair-pulling, and scoping some locations, we have a plan. Some of this was borne out of the idea that niche businesses seem to do well in the downtown areas of cities. My market research isn't perfect, but I have a hunch this could work.

So here it goes.

Sometime in the next year or so, we hope to open a restaurant that will engage the diner in something that goes beyond the simple eating experience.

This restaurant will be called: Can Julia Cook?(tm).

It's a kind of nutso thing, for sure, but I do have some basic cooking skills. We figured people like a good car wreck, so what we'd do was set up the kitchen in a format that was open to the diner. They would pick what meal they wanted me to try and watch the fun begin while I tried to figure out what blanching means. The menu would change every week to keep it fun.

Now, you're wondering how we're going to set up tables so that everyone would have a good view. That's where the location comes in. It's a huge risk, but we're going to buy the old Winter Garden theatre in downtown Jamestown. This is a historic old structure that has been in the news recently. With the stage already in place, we have worked a way to put the kitchen up there along with those crazy overhead mirrors you see on cooking programs. I will be mic-ed the whole time, so I'll have to watch my language.

The financing is almost all in place. We met with a bank last week to firm up some stuff. I'll be sure to keep you all in the loop as things progress!

Away, Away

We're on a mini-vaca in an area where they're experiencing forest fires (thanks asshole arsonist). It's an area that makes Clift...