Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Last Day for a First Time

So it's the last day for a "sexography" post. I will admit I've had a lot of fun writing these just because it gave me permission to talk about a topic I generally avoid on this blog. To remind you all why I decided to take part, scroll a little to read below about RAINN and consider making a donation.

Now. My final sexography post.

The first time I had sex with a guy wasn't anything to brag about. Then again, I don't know too many people who had mind-blowing, virginity-erasing experiences. Feel free to leave a delicately-worded comment if you were one of the lucky ones. Anyway.

Earlier that night, I had presented my boyfriend with a note saying I was ready.

"A note? WTF? Were you 16???" you might ask incredulously. Uh. Yeah. I was.

After my boyfriend read the note, we went into the movie theatre to see "Jack The Bear." It was one of those uncomfortable movie dramas with Danny DeVito. Honestly, is any movie that he's in really comfortable?

Afterwards, we drove off in the April mist until my boyfriend parked his boat of a car in a dark parking lot of an apartment complex. We began our heavy make-out ritual that eventually led to me laying unclothed on the front seat with a steering wheel inches from my head. As I noticed a fuzzy glow around a street light, my boyfriend pushed through what was left of my virginity. I moved against him until I came to my senses and asked, "Do you have a condom?" His head dipped as he said no, pulling out.

I wouldn't say the second, third, or even tenth time were much better for me, but the boyfriend seemed to enjoy it. A couple years later, I found out a guy I trained to be a radio DJ, who also because a barista at the coffee shop this blog is named after, lived in that apartment complex. Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever stole a glance outside their window and saw us that night.

Please consider donating to RAINN — Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network as part of the Sexography project. If you donate, please cut and paste this blog’s URL along with "GBBMC:08" into the “donation in honor of” section. By including this blog’s URL in your “in honor of,” RAINN will know its part of the Sexography Project. If you use PayPal, please let me know your donation amount and transaction number for the PayPal donation. I do not get credit for your donation due to a glitch in RAINN's donation site at this time. Thanks!

About RAINN:
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline with a nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines, providing victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 137,039 sexual assault victims in 2005 and has helped more than one million since it began in 1994. RAINN’s goal is to expand its hotline services with the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline, which will be the nation's first secure web-based hotline that provides live, secure and completely confidential help to victims 24/7 through an interface as intuitive as instant messaging. RAINN educates more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth Magazine.

About Sexography:
By turns serious and playful, Sexography maps the coming of age, tragedy and rebirth of one woman's sexual self. From "making out" with imaginary Hollywood stars in her closet (and getting busted) to coming to terms with abuse, assault and rape, from embracing her curiosity enough to become a sex toy tester to accepting and dealing with her tumultuous past, Carly Milne paints a brutally honest - and, at times, amusing - picture of what it's like to learn about and experience sex in every sense of the word. From the earliest experiences in her childhood homes in Edmonton and Calgary, Alberta to present day Los Angeles, Milne guides readers through the sometimes troubled waters of female sexuality with a mixture of candidness and humor. Whether you've been through similar experiences or just know someone who has, Sexography will change your mind about why and how survivors survive.


Mr. Nighttime said...

Your story sounds very typical, and was common place even amongst us that lost our virginities back in the 70's

For me, it was with my 16 year-old girlfriend at the time, (See, you're in good company! I was 18, btw.) in my friends home whose parents were away for a long weekend. While not mind blowing necessarily, it was a good experience for both of us......I had the good sense to bring a condom to the event.....;-)

Thankfully, there were no onlookers, unless you count the cat that sneaked into the bedroom unannounced.....

Ryan said...

My first time was awful. Traumatic & emotionally scarring, actually.

And I'll never forgive your mother for that.

Galoot said...

So, a Danny Devito movie about a single dad trying to find his kidnapped son did you in? When getting "ready" for intimacy, I like to pop in "Going Ape" or the first season of "Taxi". The Tony Danza connection is coincidental.

Mr. Nighttime said...

"And I'll never forgive your mother for that."

Ooohhhh.....that one's gotta hurt....

Julia said...

Mr. Nighttime - The guy I was with was 19 and apparently was a bonehead because of the no-condom thing.

Ryan - I was going to thank you again for your "rhinoceros" observation in regards to that boyfriend, but the mother comment negated that.

Galoot - Maybe the Danny DaVito-issue is what killed the relationship. He's the guy I was dating. Who knows? It remains a mystery.

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