What Outsiders Think of Us

This fellow had an unpleasant experience while traveling through our county. Truth be told, I don't blame him for being annoyed. Too bad he hadn't stopped in Jamestown. We have toilets, I promise! Here's his rant:

"Funny story from yesterday: Charlotte and I are desperately trying to get the boring stretch of I-86 behind us, west of Jamestown. We have to make a pit stop, and places to do that are scarce around there. We get off the highway at this place called Findley Lake, a cute little Small Town (tm). So here we are, Charlotte full of coffee and me full of Gatorade (I had a stomach flu the night before, I was rehydrating myself). Literally every business or restaurant we come up to: NO RESTOOM, NO PUBLIC RESTROOM, or a variation on that theme. We’d gone five or six places and they were all the same. Finally we’re driving around, and there’s these two porta-johns sitting next to a gazebo in the town center. So Charlotte and I park and very angrily use the porta-johns. I almost wish that I’d still had the stomach flu. Findley Lake is one of those towns that’s so standoffish to visitors in need, I almost wish I could’ve left some festering wet diarrhea in an outhouse that probably gets cleaned once a week. You hear that, you ingrates? You deserve me to poop on your town!"