Tipped Balances

On the last day of 2020, before the few people planning to be at work arrived on our floor, I put "Tik Tok" by Kesha on my iPod and then danced through every open office, hallway, breakroom, and conference room. Most of those rooms were vacant of even desks or other office detritus as the department that had occupied the space moved two months ago. 

It was a moment that felt slightly subversive and freeing.

I did it to celebrate and to also try to forget that it was my last day of employment for awhile. 

After being just shy of 12 years in my job, I was leaving with my return being left in the hands of a City Council that eliminated my position under the pretense that it was "temporary."

I texted a friend this morning whose 2020 could be best described as soul-trying, 

"Here's to a new year that hopefully is better balanced, or even tipped toward more happier moments if we can have wishes and dreams of that."

Life is a balance. It doesn't always work out the way we had planned because we simply cannot control everything. The best we can do is to live, love, and laugh. I'm absolutely kidding. Somewhat. Whoever thought to market that aspiration deserves their millions.

 A year ago I said to my husband that all we had was our integrity and we should live and work as such. It wasn't an attempt at a new year's resolution, but I feel we've achieved that. 

Toward the end of this year, the premise of dignity and being able to hold my head up high despite adversity is something that mattered. It's something I can do because of respecting how integrity matters. 

 I'm far from perfect and hope to never be because that sounds painfully boring. Here's hoping that while I can't control everything that I at least can continue to act in ways that help tip the balance toward the positive.

Happy New Year