Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Life's Essentials

"You're just heading into your real busy time period in the next week or two, aren't you?" my mom asked me on the phone last night.

"Yes, everything really kicks in now," I replied.

"Doesn't leave you much time for yourself, does it?" she said.

I didn't need to think before saying, "No, but it's all stuff I like to do."

I may gnash my teeth and cry "Hack! I'm just a hack!" in those frustrated moments with my violin, but I keep practicing and going to rehearsals for multiple ensembles because the music wouldn't stop in my head anyway.

I may find myself exhausted and collapsing face down on my bed around 9:30pm at night, just wishing I could go to sleep right then, but I'll get up and wait patiently for my news scripts so I can go down to WRFA to record the morning news. There is a time slot that requires content and I must fill it with something.

On days where my mind is blank and the creative streak that occasionally glances off of me has disappeared, I still try to log onto my blog or journal to write. It's proof I'm still here.

These are some of the things that keep me going. Without them, I'd feel lost, incomplete, and less myself. It's what keeps me passionate about life. I know what it's like to be drifting listless through days or weeks, feeling like I have no purpose. Sometimes these things don't fill the emptiness, but at least I have them if I want them.

I know my free time will experience a sharp decline for two months. I don't mind. It may require some creative scheduling and meal planning, but it's okay. I know I'm alive and doing what I love.

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