Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Adolescent Dreams

Around age 14, I decided I wanted to distance myself from my classmates in every way possible, so I started creating in my mind the idealized life for the adult version of me.

While girls I knew were watching Beverly Hills 90210 and hanging posters of New Kids On The Block on their bedroom walls, I took to plastering my bedroom walls with reproductions of paintings by Monet, Van Gogh, Degas, and other assorted French Impressionists. I threw myself into practicing violin. While I started to listen to more classical music, I also started to reach out to more non-pop music renderings. It was during this time that I saw this video:


I thought, "That's what I want to be like! That woman is so cool! I want to hang out where that video takes place!" Being a dedicated journal-writer, I then put this to paper,
"In my dreams I would live in a Cape Cod house by a large lake or ocean. The town and city I live in would be small, not busy. I would paint, play violin, write poems - you know. Things like that and I would sell my paintings, play violin in concerts. For a real job I would be an art teacher at the local school. The winters would be cold like Rochester and hot like Washington D.C. If I found the right person, maybe I would marry. Life would be simple - I hope."
Seventeen years later, I laugh as I realize that I not only ended up in a small city by a large lake, but practically the same location as the place I thought was so cool in that 10,000 Maniacs video. While I never had the talent to be an artist for a living, I do still get to play my violin in concerts. And, the best part is that because I moved here I found that right person, and married him. I suppose it's those simple things that I'm most happy to have subconsciously accomplished.

2 comments:

Mr. Nighttime said...

Ah, yes, 10,000 Maniacs. They were THE house band throughout much of my time at UB. They used to play the student union, Natalie Merchant in peasant dresses with her hair halfway down her back. There was also a fusion band, Gamelon, that I used to go see as well. I think they're still around.......

Twilight said...

You totally just reminded me of those movie dramas of solitude-loving artist women that have a 'beach house' on a lake until strange men come walking into their lives :P.

And hey, it was fun to make fun of 90210. Speaking of which, I hear it's coming back. Fear.

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