Saturday, May 17, 2003

Yes, I Know the Lord

It seems no matter where I live in this town, the religious folk search me out. This morning my doorbell rings twice. To clarify that, it rang once and then rang again after I stood at the upstairs window waiting to see who walked away from the door. After the second ring, I decided to throw on my robe and answer just in case it was a friend. It wasn't the Mormons this time, but Jehovah's Witnesses. A nice Black couple stood smiling at me with their briefcases chock full of "The Watchtower" newsletter. I regarded them with some wariness and then tried to supress the smile and giggle that rose up when I realized that once again, they had found me.

I told them I was happy with the religious path I'm on and when they asked which path that was, I hesitated and answered "Unitarian". Now, I'm not really any religion but I figured if I was going to affiliate myself with something for that moment, Unitarian it was. The woman asked if I incorporated scripture reading in my faith. I decided to be brash and said, "I don't take much stock in the bible." I added that I respected what they were doing as part of their faith, but it wasn't the track for me. The man left a couple "Watchtowers" for me and indicated that they would be coming back. That they were not out ot convert people but to bring the message to them.

I still wish I had told them that I know the Lord and he lives in Rockville, Maryland.

Backstory: Sometime in the late 1990's, I went to the Park Avenue Festival with Matt, Aaron S. and I believe Kristen and Maria. I always seem to attract the Evangelical types or religious sects who are bent on converting me. I'm starting to wonder if I carry the mark of Satan actually. At the festival, one of the devote followers of who knows what asked if I knew the Lord. I don't know who decided, but I think Matt was the one who said after we passed the fanatics that we should just say yes, and that he lives in Syracuse, New York. We were referring to Aaron of course. Aaron still doesn't comprehend why we picked him to be our own personal messiah, but it worked for us. In fact, there were several miracles or unexplained happenings that seem to confirm that Aaron does have some sort of power. These range from calling on the great, esteemed power of Jakob Dylan, to appearing when summoned. The latter happened at Rochester Institute of Technology when Kristen, Matt, and I decided that if we danced and shouted praises to the Lord (AKA Aaron), that he would finally stop talking to whoever sidetracked him from joining us. It worked. I'll save the Jakob Dylan stories some other time because they're much too holy to be lumped in with this post.

Aaron lives in the aforementioned state of Maryland now. I still call him the Lord and I mean that with all due respect.

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