Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Attitude Adjustment

The return of gray, damp weather is putting me in a mood. Long live S.A.D. I've never been officially diagnosed, but this mood cloaking mist combined with some self-imposed stress, anxiety, and emotional crap seems to turn me into a darker, less user-friendly version of Julia.

Matt told the secretary for his office as we stood waiting for the elevator after lunch,

"Oh yeah. I just love this weather because it makes my wife want to dye her hair black, wear lots of mascara, and listen to Morrissey all day." I glared at him.

His statement isn't too far from the truth. Well, replace the mascara with wearing lots of black clothes and you've got a better picture. However, since I'm an adult, I try to not take out my inner angst on the general public. Usually, I try to extend this courtesy to my friends. That leaves Matt to deal with whatever manifests itself in my personality when I'm going through a stressful period.

Honestly, there are some things in my life that I can't lean on my friends for. I do worry that if I bottle it up too much that I risk losing myself. I never want to get to a point where all I feel comfortable offering is a fake,

"Hi! I'm fine! How are you? No, nothing new here!"

As with everything for this Libra, it's about balance. There are some things I bring into my life by choice and I have to find a more positive way to deal with them rather than freaking out about how my free time is about to go to zero and about whether I can mentally take on everything I put on my plate.

That said, if you run into me over the next few months and catch me muttering about the stratosphere and un-bracketed transcriptions while glaring at small children, just let me fly my freak flag for a moment before smacking me upside the head and ordering me to get myself a cuppa tea.

5 comments:

Pamela said...

Ugh. I experience this, too, and it isn't fun for anyone. My FIL built himself one of those lights you can sit under that will feed your body the kind of light it needs to be happy. It seems to work pretty well for him.

Julia said...

I need to read comments through more carefully. I read your comment about your FIL as: "My FIL build himself one of those lights you can sit ON that will feed your body.." and thought, "Well, that's one way shining sun up your arse." Gave me a laugh at any rate!

battlemaiden said...

Aw, I love you no matter what. :) *hugs*

Mr. Nighttime said...

Just avoid throwing on any Marilyn Manson as well.

I suspect I suffer from some degree of SAD as well, since it is tougher to get myself motivated as the days start becoming shorter. It also doesn't help how cloudy it gets in this part of the state as compared to downstate. I'm still glad I never moved to Seattle though, as I can't imagine what it would have been like dealing with their weather year-round.

Pamela said...

Well, I suppose that if one's head is up one's ass in the first place, that might contribute to the general feeling of malaise. In which case, it would be much easier to remove one's head from one's ass, than to build a happy light box.

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