The lead story on our local cable news station last night was about how it was Autumn and that meant an increase in car accidents involving deer. While I mused over the merits of this getting the lead over other stories in the line-up, I shared the car-deer story with Matt. That led to the following (warning: language ahead):
Anchor/Mark: Thank you for joining us on this Tuesday, October 16th. We begin tonight with an investigative report from Local News Reporter Sewer VanLair. We now go to Sewer live in the field, Sewer?
Reporter/Sewer: Yes Mark. It's Autumn and state officials say that means an increase in car accidents involving deer. As you can see Mark, I just hit a fucking deer with the news jeep. CHRIST! Not even my deer whistles worked! Oh yeah! It would have been great to have known BEFORE this story that experts have determined that deer whistles don't work, but NOOOooooOO, I had to go and believe you guys that I'd be okay with taking the back roads of Stockton at 60 miles per hour and that these fucking whistles would work. Well Mark, I think I'm going to head over to Forte after this and grab a Southern Tier Harvest. Wait, what? They're all sold out of fucking Harvest?? October is turning out to be a shitty month. Damnit! Back to you Mark.