My Biological Alarm Clock Needs a Better Snooze Button

For these past couple months, there have been these subtle nudges by my hormones that have threatened to totally upend my sense of balance and happiness with life.

I thought that my mere will and desire to remain child-free could outwit biology. Unfortunately, my body has other ideas and has begun a kind of mental and physical warfare to try to break me down and succumb to evolution.

It started innocently enough when pictures of babies started to make me smile. Then, I began to get a strong urge to pick up my friend's babies and hold them for a little bit. I thought, "No big deal. Babies are cute. Even cuter when you can hand them back to their mom and dad."

I did my own version of a support group by reading child-free blogs and related stories. I'd toast myself for being able to spontaneously meet up for a drink and intelligent conversation at my favorite bar for a drink with friends, something I know would be almost impossible with a child.

Still, I found the topic creeping into conversations. I questioned Matt worriedly over dinner while out for "date night" about how he really felt about us not having kids. I started worrying that maybe I was being defective in not wanting to have kids.

Then the dreams started. I went from daytime worrying to the line of questioning continuing well into my dreams about whether I still thought not having a kid was a good idea. Half the dreams left me with a defeatist attitude of, "Well, maybe I should just give in and do it."

Then this week, I held our friend's 3-month old son. Suddenly, I didn't care that he looked like he wanted to spit up all over me. I walked around, lightly swaying him in my arms, as he looked around interestedly. Unlike other times I've been near babies, he didn't cry or give me dirty looks. For a moment, I thought, "Wow. This is kind of cool."

Then his 1 and a half year old brother let loose an ear piercing shriek that sent all my maternal urges into hiding for at least a few weeks.

I suspect this relief is temporary and am trying to steel myself against the future onslaught of urges to reproduce. Wish me well.

Townhouse Records Is Open in Jamestown

Townhouse Records is also now open!

Have You Seen Jamestown's Newest Bookstore?

The People's Bookstore is now open in Jamestown (East Fourth Street above Labyrinth Press Company).

Help Firefox Set A World Record

The folks at Mozilla are trying to set a World Record tomorrow for most software downloads in 24 hours.



Kinda silly, but seeing as how Firefox as been my preferred browser of choice since at least 2005 you know I'll be joining in the fun.

Addendum: Hmmm. It's 7:35am EST on June 17th and the main download page for Firefox is still showing only the old version to download. Maybe it goes live at noon? Here's a news article to amuse yourself with in the meanwhile.

9:15 A.M - Get Your Firefox 3 Download Here!
9:16 A.M. - Okay... that seems buggy, as in it won't open for me. Will try later.

9:19 A.M. - Here's the deal. Firefox 3 isn't live until 10 AM PDT. Which means sometime this afternoon here on the East Coast (1pm? I forget how daylight savings time affects everything). For more information, go here. Apparently, you can't direct link or ftp the download in order to qualify for the World Record.

5:03 P.M. - Have cleared my cache, refreshed the page, tried different pages and everything I find on Mozilla says Firefox 2. Nice going guys. Way to ruin your big download day. (rolls eyes)

6:47 P.M. - Karl left me a comment before I could update this post because I was too busy configing Firefox 3 on my home computer. According to other stuff I've read, I'll still be able to make the download record thing tomorrow morning for my work computer. So hooray for that.

RIP : Tim Russert

I just received via several twitters the news that Tim Russert died of an apparent heart attack at age 58 this afternoon.

This is his last story, filed today: Russert: Vigilance needed on campaign claims.

Tourism Blog

The Chautauqua County Visitor's Bureau has started hosting a blog that will eventually be connected to their main site.

Add it to your RSS feed to see what Executive Director Andrew Nixon has to share with us.

The Aftermath of Clark's Book

I've been meeting up with a few people for a casual book-club over the book Go by John Clellon Holmes over the past month. This past Tuesday, I suggested that we probably have a Paul Hobbes kind of character in our midst, singling out a guy I frequently see around town who is constantly writing. The discussion led to this silly kind of end story below:

Title: The Aftermath of Clark's Book

A few months later, Clark's book came out and became a dizzying success. At one point, some Hollywood types were throwing around the names of Kim Kardashian and Denise Richards as possibilities to portray make-out girl. The success surprised not just Clark, but everyone else in Smythport. Apparently, all those hours Clark seemed to isolate himself writing over his beer were really him recording his account of the humanity that weaved in and out of Coda every night. And even though he had changed names and places, it dawned on people where they stood in his fictional world. That created some new drama for a few weeks, leaving the regulars at Coda to form awkward huddles around the bar. Ultimately, some couples split, leaving the broken halves to glare at each other over glasses of syrah and IPA. But after awhile, people began to mellow or just slip back into the faux reality they had built around themselves of drinks, drugs, and disco.

Reflections on a Gift of a Watermelon Pickle

While taking our afternoon constitution around and around the third floor of our building, a co-worker and I started talking about some baking plans. We talked about pies and making itty-bitty one-bite versions. And then we talked about making jam.

I loved freezer jam as a kid. My mom and I would go out to Phillips Road in Webster and spend a morning at a U-Pick gathering basket upon basket of warm strawberries. I would proudly hold up large berries I found that were almost obscene with how deep red and luscious they looked.

Later in the day, we would begin the cleaning process. I would be set at the kitchen table with a paring knife, wooden cutting board, and two bowls. One would hold the washed strawberries, the other the strawberries after I quartered them. Every so often my mom would check in and admonish me to cut especially large berries into smaller pieces before pouring cupfuls of white sugar onto the growing pile of cut-up redness.

My next job was to decimate the berries, sugar and some lemon juice into a sugary conglomeration. When my mom wasn't looking, I'd dip a finger in to taste the fresh tartness and refined sugar exploding in my mouth. That flavor could instantly remove me from a frigid Autumn day to sitting at the kitchen table, watching a cutting board turn red with sweet juice underneath my careful hands that turned fruit into childhood memories.

Reflections on a Gift of Watermelon Pickle Received from a Friend Called Felicity
- John Tobias

During that summer
When unicorns were still possible;
When the purpose of knees
Was to be skinned;
When shiny horse chestnuts
(Hollowed out
Fitted with straws
Crammed with tobacco
Stolen from butts
In family ashtrays)
Were puffed in green lizard silence
While straddling thick branches
Far above and away
From the softening effects
Of civilization;

During that summer--
Which may never have been at all;
But which has become more real
Than the one that was--
Watermelons ruled.

Thick imperial slices
Melting frigidly on sun-parched tongues
Dribbling from chins;
Leaving the best part,
The black bullet seeds,
To be spit out in rapid fire
Against the wall
Against the wind
Against each other;

And when the ammunition was spent,
There was always another bite:
It was a summer of limitless bites,
Of hungers quickly felt
And quickly forgotten
With the next careless gorging.

The bites are fewer now.
Each one is savored lingeringly,
Swallowed reluctantly.

But in a jar put up by Felicity,
The summer which maybe never was
Has been captured and preserved.
And when we unscrew the lid
And slice off a piece
And let it linger on our tongue:
Unicorns become possible again.

Little Brother

Very quick post before work.

Track down Little Brother by Cory Doctorow (Amazon.com).

Cory put it up free here.

I read it last night, all in one night. I can't remember the last time a book grabbed me that hard that I stayed up late in order to finish. It's excellent, scary, and a very interesting piece of literature. HUGE hat-tip to this post by Wil Wheaton for ultimately convincing me to give the book a look. If you blogged about this book, please leave me a comment because I know I saw the link to the free pdf of it somewhere and I'd like to hug you.

Addendum: The hugs go to Luis. You rock!

Hop, Hop.. Hop, Hop.. Hop On Down...

Something made me do a search on "House of Guitars" on YouTube tonight and I practically wept with joy as reminders of my hometown flooded my computer screen:

New York State Backs New Kind of Coal Power

(Image Courtesy of Governor Paterson's website)

Fresh from Governor Paterson's press conference in Jamestown this morning comes this story:

State Plans New Kind of Coal Plant

Of course, Walter Simpson has an opinion and is quoted here. But I find it hard to take a hypocrite's opinion too seriously.

Nick Dean from the Jamestown Post-Journal posted this video from the press conference:


Addendum: I added a round-up of news and blog posts below and will probably update this for the next few days.

News Round-Up:
Gov. Paterson's Press Release
Praxair Press Release

6/11/08 Articles
Tonawanda News: ERIE COUNTY NOTEBOOK: Clean coal on the move, but not in Tonawanda
Jamestown Post-Journal: State Backing
Jamestown Post-Journal: State, Local Officials Respond To Announcement
Buffalo News: ‘Clean coal’ plant for Jamestown boosted
WIVB: Major supporter for Jamestown coal power plant
WBFO: Governor Supports Plans for Jamestown Power Plant

6/10/08 Articles
Governor supports BPU clean coal project with $6 million grant
Buffalo News: Governor backs Jamestown coal power plant, described as breakthrough in clean power
Environmental Advocates of NY: ENVIRONMENTAL GROUPS CALL ON NY GOVERNOR TO DITCH PLANS FOR COAL POWER PLANT
Crain's New York Business: Governor pushing "clean coal" experiment
WGRZ: Governor Paterson Supports Advanced Coal Power Plant in Jamestown
Reuters: NY to support carbon burial demonstration plant
Newsday: Paterson supports cleaner coal plant in Chautauqua County
CNN Money: NY gov supports cleaner upstate coal plant
Albany Times-Union: Environmentalists call new coal plant costly waste

Blog Round-Up
1490 Newsblog: Paterson Visits Jamestown; Announces Power Plant Plans
Nick Dean (Post-Journal): Gov. David Paterson during Tuesday's BPU announcement
Politics on the Hudson: Paterson Backs Coal Plant In Western NY (Updated)
Re-ENGERGIZE BUFFALO: New Coal Power-Advance or Big Mistake?
the BUFFALOg: Jamestown Power Plant A Go?

Beware - Cuteness Ahead

I love watching otters. Too cute. Hence why they are such a threat to other animals that try to claim the "cuteness" title:

Twit-what?

I find I have to explain what Twitter is to a lot of people. I guess the obsession with blogging and texting hasn't quite reached a critical mass in this area yet. Anyway, I found this nifty little explanation:


When it comes to practical application, here's a site that gives librarians some ideas for how to use Twitter.

But this video fits in quite naturally with how I feel about twittering, although I still insist on doing it (warning - language):

BPU's Clean Coal Power Project & Environmentalists' Motives

A few weeks ago, the Jamestown Post-Journal ran an article about some disparities between how environmentalists viewed the proposed clean-coal project at the Jamestown BPU and the proposed clean-coal project at the NRG Huntley plant in Tonawanda, NY.

The article pointed to an article written by Walter Simpson titled, "Reflections on NRG Energy’s Huntley Coal Power Plant Proposal And a Few Comments about Stopping Coal-Burning in Jamestown."

Hypocritical?

Read both and decide for yourself.

Congratulations Jade & Dave!

Our friends, Jade & Dave, are getting married today at the Hall of Philosophy at Chautauqua Institution. I have the honor of providing some music for the ceremony. I also get to watch my wedding veil make a reappearance since the one Jade had intended to borrow from her future sister-in-law was accidentally melted when the lender tried to iron out the wrinkles.

These two are a fun couple and I wish them all the happiness for the years to come.

Voice Your Support For Gay Marriage

Found this via this page:

Gov. David Paterson told state agencies on May 14 that New York must recognize same-sex marriages performed in Massachusetts, Canada and other places where they are legal. The directive should provide gay couples with as many as 1,300 rights afforded to married heterosexuals, including the ability to collect health and pension benefits, being admitted as “close family” in a hospital room and transferring a business license.

On June 3rd, a Christian legal organization says it has sued to stop New York from recognizing same-sex marriages legally performed in other states. The Alliance Defense Fund says it filed its lawsuit Tuesday in a court in the Bronx. Several Republican state senators are named as party to the suit. The Arizona-based legal group filing the lawsuit has intervened elsewhere in gay marriage and religious freedom cases.

Governor Patterson is doing a poll on whether people support his decision. Take 5 seconds to lodge your support, just call 1-518-474-8390. You will talk to a live person from the Governor's office during business hours.

Just say "I support the Governor's position on same sex marriage," then give them your 5 digit (New York) zip code.

A Night of Ease

This pose to my left is generally how you will find me any given night around 9:30-10:30 p.m. as I wait for news scripts.

I'll have the iPod scrobbling for last.fm, the headphones on to listen to my library in shuffle mode, and whatever random articles I might need on hand for a blog post. That spiral you see on the desk is open to the entry I copied for yesterday's post.

Tonight is rare in that I got everything buttoned up by 8:30pm. So Matt and I ran to WRFA to quickly get everything done so we could get a drink downstairs with a side of political banter with a friend. I love these relaxed kind of nights.

Vert Is Dead

New blog in town.

Vert Is Dead

It's about skateboarding/skateboarders in case you don't get the ref'.

(HT to Nick Dean for finding this first)

Adolescent Dreams

Around age 14, I decided I wanted to distance myself from my classmates in every way possible, so I started creating in my mind the idealized life for the adult version of me.

While girls I knew were watching Beverly Hills 90210 and hanging posters of New Kids On The Block on their bedroom walls, I took to plastering my bedroom walls with reproductions of paintings by Monet, Van Gogh, Degas, and other assorted French Impressionists. I threw myself into practicing violin. While I started to listen to more classical music, I also started to reach out to more non-pop music renderings. It was during this time that I saw this video:



I thought, "That's what I want to be like! That woman is so cool! I want to hang out where that video takes place!" Being a dedicated journal-writer, I then put this to paper,

"In my dreams I would live in a Cape Cod house by a large lake or ocean. The town and city I live in would be small, not busy. I would paint, play violin, write poems - you know. Things like that and I would sell my paintings, play violin in concerts. For a real job I would be an art teacher at the local school. The winters would be cold like Rochester and hot like Washington D.C. If I found the right person, maybe I would marry. Life would be simple - I hope."

Seventeen years later, I laugh as I realize that I not only ended up in a small city by a large lake, but practically the same location as the place I thought was so cool in that 10,000 Maniacs video. While I never had the talent to be an artist for a living, I do still get to play my violin in concerts. And, the best part is that because I moved here I found that right person, and married him. I suppose it's those simple things that I'm most happy to have subconsciously accomplished.

Summer in the City

It may hit 90-degrees this Friday, although mid-80s is a better bet right now. Here's my list of things I like about warmer (or hotter) weather:

1. It's finally not too cold for ice cream/gelato/sorbet (she says as she eats another spoonful of pink grapefruit sorbet)
2. Air that's heavily scented with flowers, charcoal grills, and fresh cut grass
3. Wearing sandals with everything and not wearing nylons
4. Cucumber water on especially hot, sticky days
5. Getting dinner from the Mediterranean Bar at Wegmans (dolmas, hummus, baba ghanough)
6. Mojitos on the floating bar by the Village Casino or wine on the front porch of the Lenhart Hotel in Bemus Point
   
7. Lots of awesomely bad pop tunes that were written with summer in mind
8. Smokers and non-smokers hanging out in front of Forte
9. Father's Day at my aunt & uncle's campsite in Holland (bucket margaritas, swimming in a pool that overlooks a forested valley, and jello salad)
10. Any party that involves jello/marshmallow salad
    

What do you like best about summer? Leave your list in comments.