Tuesday, October 30, 2001

Memories and Music

Listening to Tori Amos' "Pretty Good Year" this morning led me on this tangent thought of how I associate certain pieces of music with people or places. It always feels like it should be raining when "Pretty Good Year" is on. I think this is connected to me sitting in the lounge/office area of WIRQ one morning or afternoon while it was raining outside.. listening to this song. Then there are the songs connected to people. I really can't look at Tori Amos' "Little Earthquakes" without thinking of Sean. And before you get all crinkly-eyed at that, it has mostly to do with me discovering Tori Amos at the same time we became friends. I listened to that album a lot then. It was a comfort thing.

I also can't hear "Learning To Fly" by Tom Petty without the scene of driving over a small bridge on a sunny September 1, 1991 flashing in my head. Such a brief moment in time, but cemented there. Why don't you comment on the songs that make you relive moments in your life.. almost as if you have no control. Some of my friends have said I may live in the past too much. I hold onto memories so tightly.

Headache, Sinus headache, or Migraine?

I'm experimenting with medication right now. I have trouble discerning between what is a sinus headache and a regular headache lately. My head just hurts. I tried some sinus stuff earlier, no beans. I'm waiting to see what Advil will do. I wonder if I'm getting migraines and not realizing it. The ladies in Law told me I would know, but I can be pretty resilient to pain (in terms of being productive under pain). Right now, a dark room, one of those cool gel eye masks (the kind you wear, not the kind that comes in a tube and you rub on your face), and sleep would feel good. Ah.. it's only four and a half more hours in this County Work day (not counting 3 hours of phone banks tonight).


Trolls is a new term I'm trying out for people that run around making unsubstantiated accussations about other people. It also applies to people who are ignorant. Maybe I'm getting a bit broad. All I know is that "troll" is a term I would use to describe someone who doesn't feel I'm doing a good job on this election. I've had a bit of time to think about things going on and realized it's not worth my time to stress too much. I know I'm getting my job done and will be able to back myself up about it. I'm more on a mission to make someone eat my dirt at the moment. Not a very pleasant thought, especially considering I'm not a terribly competitive person, but it's a situation I won't let lie. Alright, now that I've had my moment of bitching, I'm going back to work and a meeting now. Ciao!

Sunday, October 28, 2001

More Dreams

I dreamt this morning (since I went to bed after midnight) that I was in the World Trade Center right after it was hit by the plane. I think I was in the first building hit since I asked someone how long it had been since it happened. I was very cognizant of the fact that I needed to get out because the building was going to collapse. Our County Budget Director was there along with my secretary (well, the general office secretary). When Pauline (secretary) and I went in search of the stairway we found out that we were on the top floor since the first place we walked out onto was an observation deck. I got nervous then since we were up so high and I could feel the building being unstable underneath me. We started making our way down the stairway and I lost Pauline on some floor. I called out her name a couple times and decided I just couldn't stop to look for her. I started going down the stairs really fast, swinging over the rails, skipping flights.. desperately trying to get down to the bottom. I knew I didn't have much time. I got to one floor where I had to go through this auditorium that had a starry-like ceiling. Someone I knew (at least in the dream) grabbed my sleeve, but I told him to let go and I kept going. Before I left this room, I woke up. Matt asked me if I had known anyone who died in the 11th tragedy. I really don't aside from distantly knowing a girl whose brother died (worked for that Cantor-Fiztgerald company). I'm thinking that it just must be my way of dealing with what happened. Although it was pretty odd.


I keep getting ideas for stuff to write on this blog, but then I have no motivation to write once I get on-line. So sorry to anyone who clicks on here somewhat daily expecting new entries.

La Lun C'est Bon

Ok, my French may not be quite correct, but you get the idea. It's a phrase Ben used to say. Usually it was uttered as he, Matt F., Krista and I walked on the Irondequoit Bay Pier. That was my Junior year in high school. I loved watching the reflection of the moon in the water on the bay and on Lake Ontario. Sometimes a small ship would go by with just its safety lights on. You can't say my friends aren't romantics, although Matt might have scoffed at that insinuation back then. Who knows.

Oh, I bring this all up because the moon is becoming full.. making it a blue moon for October. As I was driving back to Jamestown on Route 60 from our Team meeting in Dunkirk, I noticed the moon was large enough to cast a pale glow over the bare trees. I got such a sudden rush. I truly thought I might burst from the sudden energy of it all. Talk about flying out of yourself. Sometimes in these moments I get a real sensation of deja vu. I know there's research that apparently disputes that this can happen and that the feeling comes from the brain making an instant memory of the moment and then you remembering it.. making it feel like it's happened before. Or something like that. Well, something reminded me of Toronto as I drove. God knows why, but it popped into my head. I think I'll leave it at that since I have no idea what my brain's free association really means most of the time *grins*

Friday, October 26, 2001

The Weather Report

National Weather Service:
1014 AM EDT FRI OCT 26 2001



Ok.. that's just plain wrong. Of course I can't deny it since I can't see any bare ground outside. It's still snowing too. Something about snow covering the ground before Halloween just has me in a mood. Honestly, it's not a bad mood (for once!). It just makes me want to curl up even more so under an afghan. I should keep a rolling count of how many times I've said that on here. Can you tell I haven't been getting my fill of comfort time?

After I dropped off the face of my blog for a few days, I figured I should write something. Nevermind the fact that I've dropped off the face of the planet for most of my friends. At least some of them (like Sean) know to just read the blog to get an idea of what I'm doing in my life.


I'm watching this truck with a plow attached to it push snow around the parking lot. Unfortunately, it's pushing snow right against the rows of cars so when these people come out to leave, they'll probably have a tough go at it. Of course this has happened due to other cars parking where they shouldn't, therefore, leaving no place to put the snow that's been plowed. Hm.


I dreamt I was running for City Council At-Large. I was sitting on steps to a house thinking about how weird that was that I was running for an office. In real life, I'm just helping everyone and their sister run for office.

I also dreamt that I won the lottery. $27 million worth! I didn't want to tell anyone and didn't seem overly excited about this fact. I did reflect in the dream that it was nice to have that much money coming to me. In real life, I'd be happy to win the lottery if only to have financial security for when I get older. Not that I wouldn't like to win the lottery, but there does seem to be a lot of baggage to winning large sums of money. That's not including all the physical baggage that comes from buying stuff you don't need just because you have the money to do it.

Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone

Ok.. if I didn't spell it right, don't sue me. I'm a big HP fan, but not that huge! I'm starting to get excited about the Harry Potter movie that's coming out next month. My schedule is currently wide-open, so I have big plans to go to Erie, PA if need be to see this film. I should also mention that I dreamt last night about Harry Potter. No you doof.. not like that! It was more like seeing parts of the movie and comparing them with the book. It was strange. I think the dream-movie focused more on Harry's life before Hogwart's and it was very dark. Meaning, the scenes were dark in light. The mood was not necessarily very dark, but more somber. Strange. I really need to get more sleep.

Tuesday, October 23, 2001

Monday, October 22, 2001

"You have to do something wild and crazy before you turn 25. After 25, wild and crazy just seems immature"
- paraphrasing Janet from Singles

Well, I've turned that quarter of a century mark. I also just realized that my car insurance should go down this next bill. Hurrah! But anyway. Mark and the rest of the office embarrassed me (quite nicely) today by singing to me and having a cake to eat. I have this habit of turning awful red when embarrassed/happy. It was such a nice feeling to be remembered. I got so used to no one knowing or paying any attention. Last year was the worst for that. I did get belated cards (or just came really late in the mail), but the day was fairly uneventful. This year has been better even despite the stress.

Matt got me the most beautiful witch ball. It's a large, glass ball with swirls of blue and green in it. I think I'm going to hang it in the dining room in front of the window. I always wanted one, but they're so expensive. When I opened it up and saw what it was I cried. Half because Matt knows me so well to get me something I really wanted and half because I was so drained physically and emotionally. The visit with my parents yesterday was nice. We went to La Heradurra and had a good meal. I had flan for dessert. Yum! People think I'm nuts for going so bonkers over a pretty basic custard dessert. Blame Joe Fragiadakis' mom for making it for our Spanish class in 7th grade. I've had a thing for flan ever since.

I'm really starting to feel oldish. I think that quarter-life crisis that has been flitting around in the news here and there is not imagined. I'm seriously feeling like I didn't live enough during my youth or something. Not that I needed to be crazy or anything, but I feel like the fact that I haven't gotten to Europe yet (or study abroad) has somehow disrupted the "making of Julia." Maybe it's just PMS *winks* *grins* Nah.. I'm just feeling like I let it slip away too fast without treasuring all that I could. And I know that's not true since I can remember moments of thinking, "Wow, this is just so awesome, but it won't last.. so enjoy it now and try not to be sad that this time will pass too." Yup. That was me through a good chunk of my life. I think we all wish we were in some other time/place/year at some point or another. Human beings have a hard time living in the present. Something to strive for I think.

Friday, October 19, 2001

A Visit!

My parents are coming up this Sunday to celebrate my birthday (which is on Monday). I'm pretty psyched about it since I haven't seen them since we moved and last night was the first time I've talked with them since moving day. That's what happens when you get busy. Now I just need to find a restaurant for them to take me to. I'm hoping Vullo's is open since I really don't feel like La Heradurra and there's not much else around here in terms of decent restaurants. It's funny, you've got Italian and two Mexican places. That's it for non-American. Even if you go up to Fredonia, it's the same deal although they do have a Greek restaurant (that sorta sucks when compared to the places I've been). Oh well. I still have this dream that Barry and Cory will move to Jamestown from Oregon (where they went from Rochester) and open a sushi place. I can think of at least three people that like sushi here. I'm sure there's more!

Now that we're getting visitors I'm feeling the pressure of getting the house together. They already know it won't look all set up due to the on-going paint job. But now I have more incentive than ever to get clothes washed, dishes done, and somehow get those damn shelves into the built-in bookcases. We painted them and now I think the paint caused a thick enough layer that the bookshelves won't go in. Sounds like sandpaper is in order, right?


Only a week and some days away. I used to really look forward to this day as a kid. I still like it but I haven't had time to think about it this year. I'm worried that I won't have time to even celebrate it. I don't necessarily mean in the costume get-up way. There is a certain different-ness about the day. I suppose if you buy into the thinnest veil theory it would make sense. The veil between the living and non-quick is ultra-thin.. and I guess this year that may be heightened by the fact that it's a blue moon. I'll have to check that last part of it, but it certainly sets up the day to be something else. Too bad it's a Wednesday. Not that I want to bring back "old friends" or even acknowledge them if they're around, but it's more the energy of it. Hm.

Tuesday, October 16, 2001

Almost One Room Left

One wall in the office remains to be painted. Matt's dad and brother would have painted it, but they ran out of paint. The cool thing is that I feel like things are moving along. I just my house. That's all.

Campaign Hell

Last I checked, I did not have a life. *checks again* Yup. Still no life. Now I know I bitch and whine a lot on here, but truthfully, I have good cause now. After I work a full day and get home around 5:20pm, I have to go to Democratic HQ from 6pm until 9pm. Now that's only Monday through Thursday with early Saturday morning stuff, but you can definately see I have no life. Today I wanted to just leave work and go to Canada. I guess I figured leaving the country sounded like a good way to get away from my responsibilities *grins* Work, itself, got a little more hectic since my co-worker is taking this week and next off to work on the campaign. So he says. Can't be on taxpayer's dole! That leaves me to handle everything in the office. Not fun. I'm trying very hard not to think of everything that I need to get done that just isn't happening at the moment.

A Positive

You can drink while working on campaigns. Beer helps. I had to photocopy the phone lists for all the election districts in Jamestown. Believe me, beer helps. And I'm no alcohol lover by any means. Geez, I can count the number of times I've gotten really drunk on one hand. And I didn't have a hangover after either of those times and I've never thrown up after drinking. What's the point of it?

First Meal

Matt and I had our first dinner in the house. He made soup out of the can. It still counts though since it was the first meal we made on our stove (now fixed!!) and we also ate it in the kitchen at the table. Pretty cool stuff, eh? I'm happy about it. Restaurant food is really getting me down. We need more selections for restaurants!!!

Monday, October 15, 2001

Perfect Autumn Day

This past Saturday was what I generally would call the perfect Autumn Day. It was sunny out, warm, and the leaves were still at peak. Now the warm part may seem out of character with a nice Autumn day, but believe me.. it fits into my scheme. Unfortunately, the morning involved doing a lit drop and I overdressed for the occassion (should have worn a t-shirt instead of the sweatshirt I had on). Fortunately, there was a nice breeze blowing in the neighborhood I was walking in.

After I got home, Matt came home from an event he had to do all ticked off. I remedied that by suggesting we go to the Octoberfest at Peak 'N Peek (or however it's spelled). The drive was nice. And we got to ride the chairlift up and down the hillside. That was cool since I had always wanted to ride the ski chairlift in the off-season. Plus, it was pretty romantic too. As mentioned in tons of other blogs I read, including Jenny's blog, there were thousands of lady bugs flying around. Several hitched a ride on our pants or jackets as we rode. It kept reminding me of my Aunt Carol and how she used to be a huge lady bug fan. She still likes them, but has moved on to collect other things.

The Octoberfest was mainly an arts and craft show. We bought our second piece of real art. It's a watercolor of a moonlit, winter scene. Beautiful dark blues. We still need to have it framed, but it's cool to have another real painting for the house. Local artist from Maple Grove of course. I also found a decorative, yet useable, plate for my mom. Not sure if she reads this so I won't go into description.

The day was great. We have both been terribly stressed out and this helped calm us down for a bit. We really need to remember to relax together more.

Thursday, October 11, 2001

entering a blog spot for September First

Strawberry Jam & Butter on Toast

This is what I had with my tea this morning for breakfast. After I got back from my brief trip with RPYO to England in 1995, I started searching out ways to continue being an anglophile without it being a stretch or noticable effort. Mind you, while I was in England I never went to Tea or even had a fresh-baked scone but I did have some lovely tea with the family we homestayed with (was like Earl Grey but lighter and more floral). I am proud to say that I have eaten a "fry-up" but my experiences with English food were not high on my list (it usually isn't for most people). I do have to point out that I had a pre-packaged scone at some rest stop on the way to London from Worthing. It was dry, crumbly and cold. I think I found some tea there as well, but I don't remember how that was.

Oh no! It's Garbage Day!

That says it all. Matt and I haven't gotten used to our new garbage schedule and therefore missed putting out all our garbage for the week. Bleh. I hate to think of a week's worth of garbage just hanging around the house. Especially since Matt's dad has really started working on the upstairs rooms. Ah well. Incidentally, while the office is being painted, I might not be able to check my email much since this is where the computer is at the moment and it's rather difficult to be on-line while someone is trying to paint around you. Plus, I don't like the thought of paint splattering my screen. So I guess that means posting from work (ssshhhhh).


Wednesday, October 10, 2001

Choosing a Bed and Breakfast

I made Matt look at a couple websites for B&B's around Seneca Lake in anticipation of our mini-holiday following elections. I told him it would be my birthday/christmas gift to him (paying for lodging) since the place we like the best is not cheap. Of course we would have a fireplace, jacuzzi, king size bed and the place also has an indoor pool.. so naturally it's going to be a little pricey. I'm cool with that. I think we'll both need some r&r anyways. Matt is really bugging out with work and whatnot. I'm still hanging in there.


I had a discussion with Maclain last night about ultra-intuition (my preferred word for psychic). I guess she went to Lily Dale with her mom and grandmother for some readings and had one of the best ones she ever had. She asked me if I had ever had one and said I should go sometime. My response was that I had enough of the real thing at home. I really don't like to talk about that too much lest people think I'm nuts. Around here it's a bit different since the most unlikely people have had readings at Lily Dale. Funny stuff. Also, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with the idea. That goes along with the fact that my boss' wife is a medium there. I'm truthfully curious about what she does, her beliefs and all but very hesitant to ask. Something about not wanting to know too much. On top of past experiences that had nothing to do "the future" but more to do with those who had passed. Hm. I don't like the feeling that our lives might really be predestined in some Calvinistic fashion. Fate is heavy concept.

Pink Slips

I got a call at the office today from another co-worker asking me if I had pink post-it notes placed on the headlights to my car yesterday. I hadn't. I guess this had happened to her car and she had heard the post-its were on a small, green car in the lot too (my car fits the description). I really didn't think anything of it. She wondered if it was supposed to be symbolic of us getting pink slips if my boss doesn't win the election or if it was supposed to be representative of something else. That something else would be National Coming Out Day. My co-worker (not to be confused with the evil co-worker) is out, but doesn't really have anything on her car that would scream "Hello! I'm Gay!" Niether do I. She was hoping that if somone had put the pink post-its on her headlights for that reason.. that they were just being cute/funny and not malicious. Sometimes I forget that people can be like that. Then again, sometimes I forget that I'm bi. Oops.. there goes the cat out the door. Nah, I don't really forget but it's not something I think about enough that I automatically connect pink post-its with.. well, you get the picture. *shrugs* It's just part of my life.

House Progress

The office walls have been completely stripped of wallpaper *cheers* Next comes stippling, followed by painting. After that.. the guest bedroom will be done. Slow but sure.. it will all get done.

Sunday, October 07, 2001

What's that White Stuff Flying Around Outside?

I'm in such denial that it could even be snowing outside. Guaranteed.. it's a light snow, but it's only October 7th!!!!! I mean, if it was later (like around my birthday 10.22) then I could understand, but I cannot think of a time when it snowed before then. Then again, I never lived in the "higher elevations" this far from a major lake. Guess I too used to the warming/cooling effects of the Great Lakes to accept that I'm "inland" now. I should mention that when I woke up this morning the sun was shining brightly and the sky was this beautiful blue. Where did it go????


Matt and I went to see Serendipity on Friday night. It wasn't bad. I was surprised that Matt would go see another "chick flick" with me until he explained that anything that John Cusack is in is generally good ("Except America's Sweethearts because Cusack is such a wuss in that movie").

I should mention that it was quite cool to see the restaurant, Serendipity 3, in the movie. I had read about the place in a book called, Remember Me to Harold Square, when I was a kid. Mind you.. this was in the late 1980's or very '90s. I always thought it would be cool to go there someday. At the moment, I don't have any great plans to go to NYC. I do have to get in gear and start making reservations for our trip to Seneca Lake after elections. I can't wait for that!

Friday, October 05, 2001


I'm doing much better now. Had a talk with the boss. Found out that I was right afterall and that things are good. It's a much better day. Hooray for that!

The On-Going Saga of the House

Good Things: The furnace works. It only took $300 of repairs by King's Heating (bill sent to Landlord Greg). The bathroom is done (aside from getting leg extenders for the cabinet over the toilet and maybe another towel rack). The office/middle bedroom is in the process of being stripped of wallpaper and will soon be stippled and painted. A lot of stuff has been taken out of boxes and put in more proper places. I have Internet access again.

Bad Things: The brand new stove from Sears apparently is leaking gas.. as in fumes. A not so bad thing, but still annoying is having to thread phone lines through the wall so that we can use our second phone line for our Internet connection. Only one room has the second line. Our bedroom. Not a huge problem.

Moving took all weekend. Matt and I had to stay overnight Sunday to Monday at the Comfort Inn since we had no heat, no sleeping area set up, and no place to shower. I like the Comfort Inn. They feed you in the morning. We didn't go into work on Monday. That day was spent setting up a sleeping area (aka our bedroom) and the shower facilities. Good times. It will be so nice when everything is finally done and in place.

Political Front

We are a week away from elections. I was assigned a new duty today. That would be co-managing Jamestown's Democratic Headquarters. Wish me luck! Never done anything like this before but I think I should be able to handle it. Expect rants and raves over the next few weeks though *grins*

On a recent past post note: My co-worker implied I wasn't "pulling my weight" in this campaign and that I always had an excuse when asked to help out with stuff. Last I checked, I always cheerfully did what he asked me to do (as he ran around outside the office wasting time). My thoughts that I was wrongfully accused and mistreated were confirmed after my talk with the Boss and Campaign Manager. It's nice to be right. So I'm not all angry and pissed off at the moment. I have to admit there is a small feeling of superiority actually. I guess something like this will do that. I just need to keep working hard.

Look Out! The Weather Is Strange. The Only Thing We Know That's Gonna Come For Sure Is Change

It was in the mid 70s earlier this week. The weekend looks to be more Fall-like. It's going to be rainy, misty, chilly, windy and possibly snow-showery. Showery *heh* It makes me wish we could actually use the fireplace, but I think we're holding off for a little on that one. I bought some fresh apple cider and pure maple syrup from Peterson's Farm Market on Fluvanna Ave. Wednesday after work. Nothing sounds better right now than sitting on the porch with an afghan around me, sipping hot apple cider, and looking at the changing colors of leaves on the trees. Heaven!

I also want to take a walk through the woods nearby if I have time this long weekend. Tomorrow morning I'll be out walking while we do "lit" (aka literature) drops around Jamestown. Good exercise at least. I'm also hoping to see "Serendipity" and/or "Hearts In Atlantis" this weekend. Matt seems up to "Serendipity" since John Cusack is in it. Lori will also be in town to visit Chuck, so maybe we'll go out with them as well. Gotta love these three-day weekends!

Wednesday, October 03, 2001

Are you a Goth, Trendy, or Alternative?

Goth 35%
Trendy 30%
Alternative 40%

Conclusion: From this, we can tell that you are either a really well-balanced person, or you just have no taste whatsoever.

Recommended Drugs For Me (Note: I don't Do Drugs)

# 1 Hash
# 2 Marijuana
# 3 Codeine
# 4 Methamphetamine (Crystal)
# 5 Dexedrine (dexies)
# 6 Ritalin
# 7 DMT
# 8 Heroin
# 9 Inhalants (gas, paint ect.) why don't you just kill yourself now?
# 10 Cocaine

In Orbit

I'm still alive, although mostly in orbit around this place called the Internet and Email. I promise once the second phone line is correctly installed at the new house that I will be back on doing regular updates (and responding to massive amounts of email).

Back to my regularly scheduled work day now.

Away, Away

We're on a mini-vaca in an area where they're experiencing forest fires (thanks asshole arsonist). It's an area that makes Clift...