Sunday, June 05, 2011

Circle of Women

A few months ago I read the article,
"In Which We Teach You How To Be A Woman In Any Boy's Club" by Molly Lambert about how women can be their own worst enemies when it comes to the work place. The writer reflected on how in a mostly male work space, the scant handful of women sometimes either cave to acting like one of the guys and joining in on their misogynistic comments and attitudes or they steer clear but quietly work against each other in order to hold some esteem in the eyes of male co-workers who do not deserve that kind of power.

This past week I read this article, Design Online: A response to the ny times article on online magazines, on Design*Sponge. It included dialogue on how working against each other to "be on top," which the writer says is a business model used heavily in the print publishing world, doesn't hold true for online magazines or blogs.

Both these articles made me think about how I interact with other women as friends.

Admittedly, I've tended to have more guy friends than female friends. There have been a few instances in my life where girls I've trusted have turned their back on me, betrayed me, and hurt me. Sometimes I knew the reason and maybe could have done or said something differently, but other times left so many questions, confusion, and tears. I have less than a handful of female friends that I keep in regular touch with whom I knew before moving to Jamestown.

The last couple years, I've met another handful of incredible women. While I still have my guy friends, whom I cherish, there's definitely something about having a woman to lean on. There are basic things that she gets that no matter how versed a guy friend may be in the ways of women will ever understand. To not understand that until now seems like some gross lack of education on my part, but I guess it gives insight to how much I distanced myself from having a close relationship with any woman. I was that girl who sat with the guys and shook her head along with them when the topic of women came up. I was a "me too" chimer when they would pronounce how much they didn't get women. I didn't because I wouldn't let myself. That's terribly unfortunate and I'm glad I've allowed myself to try to get over that.

I'm incredibly blessed and lucky. I hope I don't ever take any of my friends, male or female, for granted. I'd hope that if I did, they'd call me on my bullshit. Then again, the friends who matter to me probably already know that they're in my heart and will stay there.

1 comment:

Maurice said...

I guess you're referring mostly to the personal realm in this piece; however, many have been my female work colleagues who have told me that they prefer a male boss rather than a female boss. I, for one, have had only one male boss through the years and that was a disaster, while I've had only one female boss among many who turned out to be a disaster. My female colleagues often referred to the female boss as if Thatcher herself were their boss, and that makes me wonder about the effect of these female bosses' interactions with their male counterparts. I would hope that this negative assessment on their part is becoming less prominent over the years, but I'm not sure that's the case. Nonetheless, I've always found this matter intriguing, whether we're talking of the personal or the professional realm.